k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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