I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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