It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
