I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
