No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
