The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
