That's intense
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
