Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
