I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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