I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
