does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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