I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
