i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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