You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
