this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I enjoy the company of your penis
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