he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It's official drugs can't kill me
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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