a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
We smell like vodka and hangover
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