You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
North Korea, Best Korea!
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
