Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
