"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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