she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
