The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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