It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
