i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
