ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
