Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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