He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
The Olympian is in my bed
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
