Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
