margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He? As in you personified your dick?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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