When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
