WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize