you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
