Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
