i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
