yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
