oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
