I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
be right there i have to get my cape
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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