So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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