is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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