So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
She told me I should be a condom model.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
