Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
