his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
