So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
