okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize
