You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I love having hate sex.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
dude. I can hear the air.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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