trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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