You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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