my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
