Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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