the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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